Say Hello to Wolves. They're Friendly.

It's been a while since I've given you a funny comic. Today is your lucky day. I'm back and hope to keep these coming while I finish getting my novel prepped for release.

Once, when I was in high school, I went camping with a couple friends, Adam and Chad. I know I write about camping a lot. It's what I enjoy doing and strange things happen often when I'm in the Great Outdoors. This won't be as exciting as my series on skunks and their infatuation with me, but should still be fun.

This was one of my first experiences with Chad. He's become a much better friend since this trip. They picked me up and immediately started chanting some random number and something about ice. "1465, Big Block of Ice." I've changed the number to protect its anonymity. Numbers need protection too. These were the two things we absolutley had to remember, the code for the lock on the chain to the property on Cedar Mountain and a block of ice to keep things cool in the ice chest.

We chanted this the whole way up, even after we got the ice. "1465, big block of ice. 1465, big block of ice." Needless to say, we didn't forget the code and we may remember it even now, fifteen years later.

The property was beautiful, open green meadows with aspens and pine growing at the edges. They had a spring and it wasn't unusual to see a deer sipping at it. In the middle of a field sat a junky old trailer. That would be where we spent the night.

 

We set up camp and soon night fell.

The stars were amazing, the night crisp and cool as the breeze carried the breath of aspens over our camp. I could live there, would love to live there...except in winter. As we sat around the crackling fire, chatting and thinking deep teenage thoughts, a wolf howled in the distance.

I answered.

At first they thought it was funny, but when the wolf answered back, they got nervous.

Then when more wolves joined in. My friends got angry and more nervous. They wanted me to stop. I, of course, didn't.

The wolves moved closer. Then my friends got irrational...at least I thought so.

I argued with them. "We have fire, a gun, and a trailer. What are you guys worried about? The wolves probably won't come near the fire. And, if they get closer, we can just go inside." I howled again.

My friends didn't think it was funny at all when half a dozen wolfy voices answered back from the nearby trees.

They forced me inside, practically at gunpoint. I relented even though the wolves never really got all that close. My friends seriously lacked the spirit of adventure that evening, which is funny. I've seen them do crazier things since. Adam jumped off the Hurricane bridge once. That thing freaks me out.

Chad and Adam are still two of my best friends. They have to be slightly crazy to put up with me..

Note: I also wanted to let people know that my zombie guide is available in print through Create Space. It will also be on Amazon soon, probably next week. Create Space is a subsidiary of Amazon.

Second Note: Adam swears he didn't threaten to shoot me. That may be true. I have a great memory, but as a writer I do occasionally remember things with a tinge of embellishment, but I don't think that was the case this time. I remember being yelled at and he had a gun...the implications were obvious even if he didn't put it into words. "Stop howling at the wolves!" Gun in hand. "Get in the trailer now!" Gun in hand. "Don't you dare howl again!" Gun in hand. You see what I mean.

Writing Updates and the Undead

So, I abandoned my blog for a while so I could focus on writing and growing an awesome beard. Don't ask me how blogging interfered with my beard growth...it just did. I'm now back to give you some updates of awesomitude.

I finished my first and second drafts of my novel. I am now tweaking it a bit, fixing some minor little mistakes, and adding in a few things that come to me in the middle of the night. I've woken up at 4am three or four nights in a row with some detail that would make the book just a touch better. It has been exhilarating and obnoxious.

Some of you know I've decided to self publish. I'm not even going to try the traditional publishing route. I think ebooks and indie publishers are the wave of the future. If you really want all my reasons, I'll do another post about it.

The major problem with epublishing is you need to completely reformat your book to make it work. This process is not simple, easy, or fun. I was a little overwhelmed by the whole concept of redoing my novel with html, so I thought I'd do a trial run first with some short stories.

But, as I focused on my novel, those short stories didn't get finished. I started to worry. I needed some practice before I did my novel. I dug through old folders and found what I needed.

A few Christmases ago I wrote a gag zombie guide for my friends and family. I still had it saved on my computer. All I needed to do was remove any reference to people I know directly and all the stuff about St George, Utah. I added a few more pictures, hand drawn of course. Then I started the reformat process.

Agony. That is the word. I formatted it and put it on the previewer. Nothing looked right. My pictures didn't appear. My fonts were too big or too small. Spaces popped up in the wrong places. I had nonsense bits of code that didn't translate into words. I formatted it again. Nope. My pictures all looked black. My font sizes still insisted on doing strange and forbidden things. I tried again. Better. Again. Better. One more time. Pretty good. I saved the whole thing as an epub file.

Then I made a cover.

I think it turned out pretty well considering I don't have much experience doing much more than my silly cartoons on here.

I am now proud to say my zombie guide is available online for real people to buy. Check it out now if you're interested, just 99 cents may save your life someday.

Here for Amazon's kindle.

Here for B&N's Nook.

Very soon, I'll have it available in print for $6.99 and I'll keep you updated.

I am now pretty much ready to get my novel out there. I figure about a month for me to reformat it, get a cover, and get it out there. I'm not above asking for help to spread the word. Please, my blogger friends, lend me your blogs. I am hoping to do a few interviews, guest posts, and talk a bit about the book or the characters for you. If you are interested, let me know.

I will be grateful forever and I'll work out some incentive as we get closer. I'm thinking a couple signed copies of Zombies at the Door and a couple of my novel, The Crystal Bridge that will go out to a randomized few people from those who help.